


There's truly no mercy in death.

by Skullsarising



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, I deeply apologise if this is out of character, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 17:14:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30025116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullsarising/pseuds/Skullsarising
Summary: There's no mercy in death. Semi Eita had found out the hard way.
Relationships: Semi Eita & Tendou Satori, Semi Eita/Tendou Satori
Kudos: 11





	There's truly no mercy in death.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fanfic contains heavy topics, such as suicide, suicidal idealisations and general death. It's a figment of imagination, and although it's not something I think would actually happen to Semi, it's an alternate ending. Semi/Tendou is hinted but not established. I wrote this at midnight, I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes.

He’s had enough.

Enough of the life handed to him on a silver platter. The life of a lonely man, a soldier amongst painters. A future written black on white, descripted in a paper by a fountain pen. As if his parents tried to care about their son’s freedom. Willing themselves to enforce a lifestyle they ought to be best. 

What bullshit.

Face contorting in agony, a scowl plastered like a stick and poke tattoo. A signature look of the young man had soon become token of hurt. Tears threatened to spill from his pools of grey and twirls of brown. Semi’s brain rotted and folded into metal wire, ready to be struck by lightning. 

It wasn’t much of a gesture to offer a helping hand. Never before had Semi wished and longed for an outstretched hand, offering the easy way out, offering to help— and he’d take it, without any second guessing. If only he could. The outstretched hand was nowhere in sight. Was it the honourable thing to accept without second thought? Eita had fought his way to stand where he stood.

Clearly, he hadn’t fought enough.

Semi was resilient. At least, he was supposed to be. That’s what everyone had always told him. No matter the case, Semi Eita could count on his own strength. There was nothing brave about a cover up. Stoic and strong and fierce, that’s what Semi appeared to be to everyone /but himself/. What way of redemption was there for someone far beyond salvation?

How melodramatic he could be.

Hand grazing through ashen blonde locks, tugging at the roots as he pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and—

“Semi-Semi?” 

Shit. What business did Tendou have with him now. He’d have recognised that nickname anywhere. The familiarity seemed to ground him for a moment, the panic that had swelled up in his chest dying down momentarily.

“Stop calling me that.” 

“Whatever. Is little Semi-Semi frustrated? Don’t you have a home to attend to?” No, what home? There wasn’t a home anywhere. Back to his parents? Well, one parent. His mother was never present. Scoffing at the thought, Semi motioned for Tendou to get out of the room. 

“Not really. I’m staying here this weekend. Why are you asking?” Eyeing him wearily, Semi pushed himself up further on the bed. He knew there were no bad intentions on Satori’s part, and yet, he couldn’t help but be weary. Be scared, even. As if betrayal was looming upon him. The eerie silence of a calm before the storm. Whatever the answer may be, Semi wished that he wouldn’t blow up on Tendou the way he had done before. Even with a good reason, it didn’t feel right. He really needed to work on his temper- what a stupid /fucking/ asshole he was. That was exactly the reason no one seemed to like him.

“You seem to be awfully offended. I’m asking because I’m staying too. I was wondering if-“ 

“Tendou, I appreciate you wanting to spend your time with me, but I can’t right now. I have.. studying to do.” What a bullshit reason. Anyone could see that it was a blatant lie. With Tendou’s observational skills, Semi didn’t even doubt that he’d know /exactly/ what was wrong. He wasn’t a joy to be around- so why did Tendou seem so unbothered by that?

If he had truly paid attention, he would have noticed. Semi would have known that it was because they were /friends/. There didn’t need to be more of a reason; it was already enough.

“I’ll study with you. Test who has more brains. What do you think, Semi-Semi?” Tendou eyed the male carefully, a smile tugging at his lips. Tempting.

A little too tempting.

—

“We’re several disappointed and dissatisfied, Eita.” 

“We’re only saying this out of care.” 

“But we think you should quit volleyball.” 

There it was. The long awaited words - the news of a lifetime. Had his parents finally stopped caring completely? Heartless bastards, making him take such decisions. How blind were they- suggesting that he’d leave the team- ridiculous. 

“I’m sorry, but no.” Venom spit from his lips, hoping to spread to his parents’ hearts, just like their poison was infecting his own mind.

“Excuse me?” His mother retorted, father stepping forward threateningly. Towering, asserting dominance in any way he could. Semi wondered where his bad temper was from- it wasn’t difficult to look for an answer.

“I’m not quitting the team. You can’t /make/ me quit the team.” 

A mistake. Not his first one, and definitely not his last.

His father fished a phone out of his pocket. Dialing a number. What a clown- red in his face, fuming by the seems. What was he going to do— call the school, telling them to ban Semi from the gym? That couldn’t be happening, right? That wasn’t possible, right? 

How he wished he had never dared to talk back.

—

Semi had never felt more humiliated in his life. His father had more influence than he thought. He had never expected for an old man to call the school and ban Eita from the gym as if it was some sacred ground. The punishment was severe. His entire body was worn out, and the purpose of life had faded.

It had a long time ago.

School, sleep. School, sleep. School, sleep. An endless cycle of.. nothingness. Semi had fallen into a pit with no ending. Slowly and steadily being drowned with the minute. 

He couldn’t take it anymore.

For the second time in his life, he had /enough/. Of everything. No one reached out, no one searched for him, no one cared. Semi lost his own will along the way. Leaving the school dorm was a rarity after he had started skipping school. What point was there, when Semi saw nothing but hardships and failure. There wasn’t a path to success. All he had ever seen was a career in volleyball. Music, perhaps, too, but that passion had seemed to burn out, all that remained was the ashes of a past fire. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

The first time he had decided to give up, was when he had gotten out of bed that morning, and buried himself beneath the blankets a second time. The door hadn’t been unlocked since days ago. There wasn’t much of a point to it. It kept people out, so it was good enough for him. 

Good enough for now.

—

Today’s the day. As promising as it was, Eita couldn’t be happy about it. Refused to be happy about it. He’d give up the fight he had put on for so long. 

Everything had been prepared. He was sitting there, on the edge of a bridge, waiting to take a leap and dive. Getting out. Out of.. everything. Everywhere. School, his parents, the shame of seeing others live a life he couldn’t have. Tendou, Ushijima, and that damned /Shirabu/. He hated his guts. Everything agonised him, everything made him swell with anger and an unrelenting urge to flee. That was what he had planned to do, right? Today. Now. In a minute or two. Step into the water and flee. No worries, no troubles. Nothing. Just.. emptiness. Nothing he wasn’t used to.

“Semi-Semi?”

Just his imagination. Stop thinking about that. It isn’t real. Tendou isn’t here- that damned Satori didn’t follow him, right?

“Earth to Semi-Semi! Over here!” 

“Leave me alone.”

“Don’t be like that, Semi— you shouldn’t be out here alone.” If Semi had turned around to look, he’d see Tendou’s narrowed eyes, filled with wonder, concern, surprise. Semi, on the edge of a bridge? Must be a surprise to someone whom didn’t bother for months.

“Leave. Me. Alone.” He repeated, a bit more harsh this time. Semi’s face was devoid of anything. No smile, no anger, no sadness nor grieve. What truly remained with his own remnants of despair? Ridiculous.

“Nope. Not going anywhere. Unless if you’ll allow me to take you back to school and-“

—

It wasn’t real. Just a scenario in his head. Tendou wasn’t here. Maybe, something in Semi willed for someone to stop him. Knock some sense into his head, tell him not to jump. Not to give up. He needed someone to .. rely on. To live with. To be happy with. And clearly, no one seemed to reply to his call for help. Not in the way he hoped.

Fishing his phone out of his pocket, Semi called /him/. The one person he hoped would pick up. Someone he had once called a best friend, in hopes of having that title returned. 

“Semi-Semi? Haven’t heard from you in a while.” 

“Nah. Was busy ‘nd all.” He spoke briefly. Now that it came down to it, Semi didn’t know what to say. Wind was clamming down on his body as his legs dangled off the edge, back leaning against the cold, harsh, metal railing. If only he’d take a step forward. 

“I didn’t even see you in class or practice- I was starting to worry! Wait, are those cars— where the hell did you end up, Eita?” 

“Nowhere. I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘Kay? I’ll be there for practice.” 

“Hold up a sec—“ 

Giving up. This was what it felt like. Free. 

The water dwindling down below felt like a cold hug around his frame. Cold, but.. comfortable. Comfortable enough to make him realise what a mistake it had been.

—

There was no mercy in death. 

He’d realised it too late. Water had filled up his lungs before his head could reach the surface again. 

By the time he reached it, Semi’s entire body felt frozen in fear, coughing relentlessly as he laid himself down on the side of the bridge. Someone had watched him fall, called an ambulance. How sad that the person had been someone he’d never expect to meet.

Daichi Sawamura was one calm human being when put under pressure. Why he had been out there at midnight, no one would do. Maybe a night terror, cooling off outside. It was the least of Semi’s concerns. 

Everyone had seemed so disappointed in him. Shutting himself in, Semi hadn’t left his room once again. Tendou had checked in on him more often, trying to get him to be.. alright. To reignite the passion for life Semi had once seemed to have. 

It was too late, Tendou realised, when he had found Semi’s body the next day, bleeding out in his bedroom. Dead. Lifeless. 

He had sat down at his grave, exactly two years after the incident. 

There truly was no mercy in death. Eita had found out the hard way.


End file.
